Dimitri and Edelgard Sitting In A Tree
by BigKlingy
Summary: A week before the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, two of Garreg Mach's house leaders face their greatest battle yet...


_It was another fine day in Garreg Mach. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, love was in the air, and Dimitri and Edelgard couldn't stop thinking about each-other._

_When had she first realized how exceedingly handsome he was? Perhaps a long time ago. But the moment she laid eyes on him for the first time in years, his flowing golden locks, sparkling sapphire eyes, a smile that could disarm an entire army, and his well-hidden-yet-perfectly-toned muscles, she knew he was the same man she remembered: her first and only love._

_And when he first laid eyes upon her, as they ran from those bandits all those months ago, the feelings he had been harbouring since his childhood flooded back. Her silver hair was as soft and beautiful as the Kingdom's famous snows. She carried herself with grace and strength in equal measure on the battlefield, while off it would still adorably panic over the sight of a rat. Where she went, the scent of rose petals wafted._

_They pined, they longed, they desired. Not a day went by in which Dimitri and Edelgard did not wish they could leap into each-other's arms and declare their undying love for one another._

_But they didn't. That wouldn't be very professional in front of the other students, after all._

_Until at last, an opportunity presented itself. The night of the Academy's famous ball. Legend says that if an unmarried man and woman make a vow to the Goddess on that night, their wish would be granted. And, naturally, Dimitri and Edelgard were a man and a woman who were not married. Not yet. They would be one day. To each-other. But anyway…_

_Edelgard arrived at the Goddess Tower first. She remembered how her mother and father had met there all those year ago, and so she had arrived on this day hoping history would repeat itself. That the man she desired above all else would answer her silent pleas and be here for her._

_As she was lost in thought, she had no idea the very same man was presently ascending the stairway, unaware the object of his desire was standing in the entrance. And so it was that the two lovers-to-be coincidentally bumped into each-other just like in all good romance stories._

_"OH, DIMITRI!", yelled Edelgard, blushing furiously and making a terrible attempt to hide her embarrassment. "I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE!"_

_"Nor I, fair lady Edelgard!", he replied, making a terrible attempt to hide the burning love in his heart._

_"So", she composed herself and stated coyly, "do you know the legend of this place?"_

_Edelgard's heart fluttered, as if about to leap out of her chest. But she composed herself, again, and stated calmly, "I have something to confess to you too."_

_The two gazed into each-other's eyes for what felt like an eternity, before blurting out at the same time:_

_"I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME!"_

_They then made out passionately and furiously._

_Years passed, and Dimitri and Edelgard's love became the talk of bards all over the land. As they stood at the altar, declaring their passionate vows to one another before being declared husband and wife, their good friend Claude watched on and applauded, having known from the moment they met that the pair were destined to be together._

_And they had tons of babies and lived happily ever after,_

_The End._

As Dimitri finished reading those words on the scroll he had snatched up, he instantly knew why the students had been giggling behind his back all week.

And he instantly knew who was to blame.

And so it was that, a week before the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, Dimitri stormed through the monastery dressed for battle. Approaching the door to the room of his opponent, he paused for a moment as he noticed someone was already there. Someone who, clearly, had the same idea he did.

"So", Edelgard's voice echoed before he had a chance to speak, "I take it you've seen that... 'document' too."

"I'd say I never thought he would stoop this low, but I really shouldn't be surprised at this point."

"If he's succeeded in angering you too", she replied, "then I don't know what he hoped to accomplish, other than leaving the Deer leaderless before the mock battle even begins." She stepped slightly to the side and gestured towards the door. "I'll let you make the first move."

Without a word, Dimitri stepped forward and begun the attack. The dormitory door was powerless before his strength and if it were ever possible to feel pity for a door, the ensuing massacre would certainly bring that about.

Once the dust and splinters had cleared, the two house leaders, for once united against a common enemy, rushed into the room. Piles of books lay scattered all over the bed, but its sheets, and its owner, were nowhere to be found.  
What was, was an open window, a makeshift rope of bed-linen still tied to its base, and a note placed in a conspicuous location, reading simply:

"See you at Gronder."

The students sleeping all throughout Garreg Mach awoke to the sound of Dimitri and Edelgard screaming.


End file.
